My God Experience - Part 1: He Loves Me...!

Many times I wonder how could I reach this moment in my life. There were somany twists and turning points in my life where I encountered a lot - both pleasing and unpleasing moments.

Since, I passed with a low score in my SSLC (10th) exams, I could not easilyfind an admission in College. But, two days before the scheduled start of thecollege, my parents could manage an admission for me in St. Thomas College,Palai, but it was for the science group. I find it very difficult to study,first of all due to the language problem (I could not even read Englishproperly and the teachers hardly spoke Malayalam). But, I enjoyed those daysof mine those days in a `more suitable' way. I was more regular in cinematheaters than in the classrooms the effect was very much visible in my marksheets. I could not even manage to get 100 marks out of 900 for the final(second year) exams and failed for all topics. Everyone has written me off asa hopeless case. I too started worrying about my future for the first timein my life. Since I belong to a very poor family, I had virtually no way togo. My brother was working in a Bar those days and through him I managed toget a job there as cleaner. I was not happy at all to let my life go thatway, but had no other options. And, I started praying for some change of fate in my life.

Two days before my scheduled start of the job in the bar hotel, I was talkingto one of my friends and he insisted me to try something else. I wasclueless. He suggested that it is worth giving a try to change the subjects Istudied for the Pre Degree and chose easy subjects like arts group and studyagain. I was reluctant, as I was doubtful about my own capabilities to studywell and more importantly, I had no source of income and since I feel guiltyabout myself, I felt ashamed to ask for my family's help. Anyway, I checkedwith one of the nearby parallel colleges next day itself and got my admissionfor arts group. But, no idea whether I could continue my studies! I had topay Rs. 40/- per month as tuition fees other than expenses like studymaterials and conveyance.

Those days, in the church where I was an alter boy, the parish priest wasquite old and the cook he had was also an aged man. Due to age problems, thecook wanted to retire, so, the father asked me to help him by preparing thebreak fast for him, bringing the supper from the nearby convent and cleaningthe rooms for a monthly salary of Rs.50/-. Again, The senior Kapiar (I don'tknow the English word) in the church also wanted to retire, again my servicewas required to assist in the Church with another Rs. 50/- as myremuneration. All these happened within few days and I had enough money tostart and continue my studies, that too with spending only one and half hourin the morning and one hour in the evening. After my first year of study, Igot some students for tuition, thus increasing my source of income. And, bythe grace of God, I could pass my examinations in the first attempt itselfwith a decent score. There were again trials like I had to appear for bothyears' exams together.

Again, after my 12th, I moved on to Delhi to seek a job-oriented course. But,nothing worked as planned and was sitting idle for more than six months.Though, I was trying to get admission in any of the reputed hotels in Delhifor Hotel Management, but I could not as I was not a graduate. Fortunately,I got admission in New Delhi YMCA for Secretarial Course and once againlanguage was my problem. I could hardly speak English or Hindi. Most of myclassmates were either graduates or under-graduates, studied in EnglishMediums. I was a bit confused in the initial days as my English was very poorand even once the English teacher called me personally and said; you may nothave a future in this field unless you improve on my language capabilities.I have no other option, but call for my Lord's mercy again and work hard.And, He did not let me down. When the result was published, only fivestudents could pass out of the total 55 and I was one among them. There wereinstances when the same Teacher congratulated me before others for myperformance in the class! And, more importantly, I got my first job in lessthan two weeks after I completed my course from YMCA.

Today, I work as Secretary in one of the largest construction companies in Dubai and do the job upto the satisfaction of my superiors. But, it is His plan and blessings that allowed me to reach this moment in life. Rather than achieved, I believe it is a wonderful gift to me by Him. Whenever I prayed, He answered me. Otherwise, the fate of my life could have been entirelydifferent. It is He who made me to reach here where I can liveindependently.Trials still persist in my life. But, looking back, I am sure The One whotook me until now will guide me in future as well. I have more than enoughreasons to believe so.Because He loves me so much.

"Thank you Jesus. And I too love you so much."

At 40 The Renewal Needs Renewal!

By: Cyril John

The Renewal needs to be rid of the infirmities crippling it and be further renewed and rejuvenated in the Spirit to enter into the post-40 era with a new zeal for fulfilling its vocation and mission in the Church.

Eagles are referred to as unclean birds in some Bible verses (Lev 11:13; Mt 24:28; Lk 17: 37). Nevertheless, many other verses highlight them as majestic birds. The golden eagle, which is really dark brown with sprinkles of gold, has a 26-meter wingspread. It nests in the tallest trees of the forest that are inaccessible (Jer 49:16) and rests on the topmost crag of the mountain. The eagle’s keen eyesight enables it to spot its prey while soaring hundreds of feet above the ground. Like a bolt of lightning, it swoops to seize prey, killing it quickly with its poignant and strong talons and beak. On the strength of its wingspread, the eagle carries its prey to the nest so that eaglets may gain experience by tearing at the prey and feeding themselves. A mother eagle carries her eaglet on her back until it masters the art of flying. Moses used this familiar picture from nature to describe God’s care for His people (Deut 32:11). “ …how I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself” (Ex.19:4). Solomon marveled at “the way of an eagle in the sky” (Prov 30:19) by which it can stay aloft for hours, rarely moving its wings. Other Bible verses speak of the swiftness of eagles in flight (Deut 28:49; 2 Sam 1:23; Jer 49:22; Hab 1:8).

One does not find in the Scriptures a direct reference of the eagle to the Holy Spirit. However, in Revelation 4:6-8 we read: “Around the throne, and on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind; the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with a face of a man, and the fourth living creature like a flying eagle. And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and inside. Day and night without ceasing they sing, “Holy, holy, holy, the Lord God the Almighty, who was and is and is to come.” In his treatise, “Adversus Haereses”, commenting on this Bible text, St. Irenaeus concluded that the 4 living creatures referred to the Son of God (Jesus Christ). The lion symbolizing His effectual working, His leadership and royal power; the ox or a calf signifying His sacrificial and sacerdotal order; the face of a man – an evident description of Him as a human being and the flying eagle as the gift of the Holy Spirit hovering with His wings over the Church. St. Irenaeus then deduces, “And therefore, the Gospels are in accord with these things, among which Christ Jesus is seated.”

Many of us may be unaware that the eagle has the longest lifespan among birds of its species. But in its 40s it encounters three difficult situations: First, its long and sharp beak becomes bent and ineffective. Secondly, its long and flexible talons loose their grip and can no longer grab prey which serves as food. Thirdly, the heavy wings, due to the thick feathers, make it difficult for the eagle to fly. So, the eagle is faced with two options requiring a tough decision: either face degeneration and death on account of immobility and starvation or go through a painful process of change for its own betterment which lasts about 150 days. The second option of choosing the process of change and renewal is like imposing a rigorous period of quarantine on itself, while the first option of maintaining status quo leading to slow death appears to be more convenient. For the process of change, the eagle requires to be at its mountain-top nest for about five months. Over there the eagle knocks its beak against the rock until it is knocked off. After that, it has to wait for a new beak to grow. Once this happens, it will pluck out its talons and when new talons grow the eagle starts plucking its old and aged feathers. Then, when the new feathers grow, the eagle begins to enjoy a new lease of life. After five months, it is as if the eagle has had a complete renewal and is fit to live for a long time to come. The belief is that the eagle renews its strength and youthful appearance after shedding its old feathers: “your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (Ps 103:5).

The Catholic Charismatic Renewal began in February, 1967 and is now 40 years old and has many similarities with the eagle. The CCR has had a majestic past. It has soared high and enjoyed the full patronage of the Church hierarchy. We in the Charismatic Renewal take pride in saying that the CCR is the fastest growing and the most influential renewal movement in the Church. Its strength in terms of numbers is quite impressive: 125 million people in 235 countries have been influenced in a short span of 40 years! Praise God for such a mighty move of the Holy Spirit that spread like wild fire! At 40, the Catholic Charismatic Renewal is (like the eagle) being challenged: the Spirit is calling it for a change – a total renewal!

Why the need for change? 40 years is quite a long period. Certain negative aspects that might have crept in must be eliminated to begin a new phase of life. At 40, (like the eagle’s bent beak, loose talons and heavy wings) all that is likely to hamper CCR, for take off to fulfill the mission entrusted to it by the Spirit of God, has to be done away with. Some of us might have lost our enthusiasm, sharpness and vision. In some countries and regions the Renewal might be almost grounded with wings having grown weary owing to negativities, complacency, selfishness and conflicts - needing to renew its strength and youthful appearance to soar again to new heights. Again, like the eagle, we in the Renewal need to retreat to the mountaintop-nest, i.e. be in the presence of the Lord. What could possibly be the beak, talons and wings that need to be knocked off? It could vary from country to country, region to region, community to community and prayer group to prayer group. However, from the viewpoint of the Renewal in general, I have tried to identify three main disabilities in the succeeding paragraphs.

1. The bent beak could be the loss of focus – The Renewal seems to have forgotten the basics: The Life in the Spirit Seminar is supposed to lead the participants to personal renewal enabling them to place their lives under the Lordship of Jesus. Such an experience should transform the nominal Christian into an authentic Christian. Cardinal Joseph L. Suenens said that “everyone of us must ‘meet’ the Lord in a life experience; therein lies the key to the ‘Baptism of the Holy Spirit’ of which we speak, and without which prayer groups would lack vital depth”. However, it is a matter of serious concern that over the period of time, people seem to have forgotten the main goals of the Renewal and are seeking temporary relief from physical, emotional and material problems and not sustained growth in spiritual life and holiness. Our response should be: to get back to the basics.

2. The loose talons could be the loss of grip by the Renewal – disintegration of basic units like prayer groups and communities: Follow-up of the Baptism in the Holy Spirit and growth into Christian maturity is possible in a community or prayer group. It affords the people the opportunity for informal group worship, for exercise of the various charisms and ministries that are given to build up the Body of Christ and for forming and equipping mature lay leadership in the Church. However, it is a matter of concern that prayer groups and communities are growing weaker with many people preferring to participate in night vigils, one day seminars, recollections, etc. and not forming part of parish prayer groups on a regular basis. Our response should be: pool in our resources to rebuild parish based prayer groups.

3. The heavy wings on account of thick feathers – The Renewal being weighed down with lack of forgiveness, love and unity: Disunity and disagreement, resentment and bitterness, envy and jealousy, etc have crippled the growth of a number of people towards ecclesial maturity and destroyed the fellowship in some groups. Our efforts will cease to bear fruit unless we are willing to forgive and love one another. Our response, therefore, should be: To strive towards rooting out the weeds of hatred, division and disunity.

At 40, the Renewal does need renewal! The Renewal needs to be rid of the infirmities crippling it and be further renewed and rejuvenated in the Spirit to enter into the post-40 era with a new zeal for fulfilling its vocation and mission in the Church. “Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Is 40:31).

The author is the Chairman of National Charismatic Renewal Services (NCCRS), India; designated for the coordination of Catholic Charismatic Renewal in India under the Catholic Biships Conference (CBCI).

Celebacy & Priesthood

It has been a long standing topic for discussion as to whether the Catholic Church should allow its priests to marry or not. There were opinions both favoring and opposing the stance of the Church. Interestingly, those arguing against the topic have been mostly terming the stance of the Catholic Church as “Conservative”. And, they have a quote from The Bible to support their argument which is from the gospel of St. Mark (Ch.1:30) where there is a mention about St. Peter having a mother-in-law, in spite of more assertive references on the importance of celibacy in the Bible itself.

The answer to the question as to whether the priests should be permitted to have normal family life with wife and children like any lay men or not is significant. For sure, family life is not a “forbidden fruit” to anyone. In fact, the priests also remain always as an integral part of a family, in the larger sense, where he is the head of it – the parish (or the institution he heads). They are into a normal life as anyone, but are there as the specially chosen men to take care of the spiritual requirements of the people, for whom they have the apostolic rights to guide them to the eternal salvation.

Then why celibacy is treated as integral for priesthood in Catholic Church? The Holy Scripture is very clear about celibacy as a divine call. In first letter to Corinthians, St. Paul says; “Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (7:2). Some of the people, especially the modernists, refer this as a `command’ rather than a `direction’. However, on the same subject St. Paul continues; “I say this by way of concession, not of command. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one another” (7:6-7). Here, he himself clarifies on his pervious statement of having each man having his own wife and woman her own husband.

St. Paul makes it a point to remind that celibacy is a very precious gift, and about the divided interests a married man might have. Take his words. "Are you free from a wife? Do not seek marriage . . . those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that .... the unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband" (1 Cor. 7:27-34). His view was that an unmarried man can concentrate more on the affairs of God than a married man. Because, a married man has more first hand responsibilities (liabilities) as he is the one supposed to take care of his family - wife and children - and fulfill their requirements. Whereas, the unmarried man can easily surrender himself to serve for the Kingdom of God as he is free from all such responsibilities.

Both vocations, matrimony and priesthood, are divine. Everyone is destined to respond to his call and whatever the call may be (whether it is to be married or to be a celibate), it needs very special devotion and heavenly blessings to be faithful to the call and be successful. Both of these vocations has its own prominence as both celibates and married men do their role in unity with the Holy Spirit, and take an active part in God’s plan for the humanity. Still, since Jesus Himself has described celibacy as supreme, we cannot ignore it. See how He describes celibacy in the gospel of St. Mathew; “Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom it is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of God. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it" (Matt. 19:11_12). St. Paul also supports this concept in his first letter to Corinthiens. “He who marries does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better" (7:38).

In fact, the Catholic Church chooses the priests from those who voluntarily chose to be a celibate. In other words, those who have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of God (Matt. 19:11-12). All (except those who are physically or mentally incapable to have a married life) are welcome to enter into a family life by virtue of accepting the holy sacrament of marriage - but priests are those who opt (`opt’ because of the God Given Freedom to Choose) to relinquish their freedom to enter the holy vacation of matrimony for another holy vacation of celibacy.

Nowhere the priests are allowed to marry, including the Orthodox and Eastern rite Churches, whereas, they consider married men as equally eligible for the priesthood. But, there too the Bishops are chosen from those who have opted to be a celibate. This itself speaks in favor of celibate priesthood.

In Catholic Church, the priests are chosen from celibates and it is not that celibacy is imposed on priests. The married men may have divided interests a married man may have (1 Cor. 7:27-34) and justifiable too as he has to choose between his responsibilities to his own family, and to the Church and the laity for whom he carry out the apostolic rights. So, the best choice is to keep either one of the interests. Thus, being free from the responsibilities of a married life, the Catholic priests can concentrate on their only responsibility that is to concentrate on the interests of the Kingdom of God. In short, a celibate priest could be much more dedicated to his call and do much more good to the Church than a married priest just because of his undivided commitment to the call he `accepted’. Having own family (wife and children) is not forbidden for anyone. In fact those receiving the holy sacrament of marriage also carry out their responsibilities as a devoted family man in the Christian spirit and contribute to the growth of Church. Both (marriage and celibacy) can be equally rewarding at the same time troublesome. It depends on how we respond to the call we received.

To conclude, the calls for allowing catholic priests for a married life are from those who wish for a mere sexual life than married life for them. They consider sex as the most important part in a married life and this is where they are wrong. Moreover, they treat the status of the holy sacrament of marriage as a mere license for sexual life by arguing against the stand of the Catholic Church and they just ignore the higher spirituality of celibacy. The church does not impose celibacy and priesthood on anyone, but is instrumental in its Apostolic Rights to welcome those come voluntarily forward to accept celibacy and priesthood as it is believed, those come forward are those who received The Call to be what they are ought to be.